Convention
by The Smart One 64
Summary: After the great success of Brawl, Nintendo has decided to put up a fourth game. Master Hand is left in charge to decide which new people should become some of the new fighters by letting them vent their feelings. And boy do those fighters have 'feelings'.


The proclaimed plumber Mario quickly sidestepped out of the way. If he wanted to win this match, he'd have to keep his guard up. Link, the legendary hero of light, charged at Mario with his sword. Mario barely dodged this move as he grabbed his FLUDD and began spraying distracting water at Link. Meanwhile, the electric Pokemon, Pikachu, swiped his tail towards the pink puffball Kirby. Kirby floated upwards in the air to avoid this blow and prepared to gulp Link on the upper shelf. Pikachu summoned his lightning, which in result zapped the other three fighters.

Link didn't lose his momentum as he picked up his sword and charged at Kirby. Kirby winced as Link continued slashing at him. Mario hopped into action and delivered a blow to Pikachu that might put Captain Falcon's Falcon Punch to shame. Kirby did a backflip and handstand twirled his way where he kicked Mario in the face. Pikachu, who was starting to run slightly low on life, jumped up and bit Link on the shoulder, a Smash Brothers first.

Mario grabbed a baseball bat and began beating Pikachu upside the head as Kirby snagged a fan and swatted at Link like an angry Japenese woman in a kimono. Link hissed as he picked up a pitfall and chucked it at the ground as Mario sank into the earth. Pikachu dashed back towards Kirby and started shooting at him with a Super Scope. Everyone's hit damage percent continued to increase, while everyone only had one stock left.

Suddenly, the Smash Ball appeared, as the four brawlers began slingshotting themselves across the stage towards the valued item. Mario leapt over Pikachu, while Kirby used him as a stepping stool to float upward. Link knocked Kirby over in an attempt to snag the ball as Pikachu hurled himself across the stage. The Smash Ball sunk as all four fighters charged and...

...the...ot t-and h...it...

...

* * *

Master Hand began fumbling around with the TV, attempting to get rid of the static picture. Ten bored people sighed as Master Hand continued slapping the device.

"Urgh...it...ah, forget it, you all know the basic points to fighting," Master Hand growled as he ordered a staff member to haul the T.V. away. He turned his attention back towards the group. Ten various characters from different game series sat in different fashions among twelve different chairs.

"Um, can I ask where the other two are?" Master Hand questioned.

"Well, Knuckle Joe is in the hospital for accidentally giving himself a knuckle sandwich..." Lyn explained, "...and Mr. Resetti had to take care of yet another resetting problem, which explains his absence."

"Not like anyone's upset he's gone. Nobody likes him as an assist trophy or a character," Funky Kong snickered and began snorting like a drunken mule. Midna slowly scooted her chair away from the surfer ape.

Krystal leaned forward in her seat to pour herself another glass of lemonade. "So, can somebody please explain to me why we're here again?"

Jeff pushed his glasses up a bit and sniffled. "Well, by the abominations of science, the twelve of us, though only 88.3 repeatedly percent of us are even here, have been invited by Master Hand here to partake in a summoning of similar fighters of the Super Smash Brothers series to discuss political matters of why we should or should not be part of the inclusion of the brawling series." Eevee shot a confused glance.

"Coughnerdcough," Waluigi muttered as Daisy slapped him upside the head. "Ooh, somebody's in a fiesty mood. Perfect."

"Oh, get a life!" Daisy groaned as everyne remained confused about what Jeff had said.

"...in other words, we're all here to talk about our feelings about not being in the game," Phoenix Wright, the Ace Attorney, informed.

"Whoa whoa whoa, why are you here? You're not even a part of the Nintendo series!" Midna questioned. Shadow the Hedgehog sunk back in his seat.

"I'M not from Nintendo either," he smirked. "SEGA's always been MY homeland..."

"Exactly the point. Super Smash Brothers is a NINTENDO game. Why are Sonic and Snake in?" Lyn wondered, setting down her glass of lemonade.

"And especially a LAWYER. I mean, how does a LAWYER even COMPETE in a violence situation?" Funky Kong asked. Daisy clapped her hands.

"Simple. Okay, listen to this: how many lawyers does it take to defeat Mario?" Daisy asked. "You're gonna love it, I swear!"

"...uuuuuuuh..."

"Three. One to defend Mario, one to accuse Mario, and another one to perform the death sentence which they fail at since it's Mario! HA HA HA HA HA!"

"...that wasn't even funny," Krystal growled.

"Your FACE isn't even funny!"

"YOU WANNA GO SISTA?"

"B-RING IT!"

"OBJECTION!"

"QUIET DOWN PEOPLE, QUIET DOWN! Mamma mia!" Master Hand exclaimed frustratedly as the group silenced themselves. Echoes could still be heard through the gymnasium.

"Now, let us begin PEACEFULLY. If you want to fight, well too bad. This is a convention meeting for you guys to discuss your feelings as to being excluded in the Smash Brothers series. Feel free to implore us with any concerns you have regarding this, and for heaven's sake be quick. I've got to battle with Crazy Hand in a final match against Samus Aran in about twenty minutes."

"...how can a HAND be a fighter and not us?" Waluigi mumbled. Shadow snickered. Master Hand glared. Eevee facepalmed.

"Any volunteers to go first?" Master Hand asked impatiently. Nobody moved until a small hand shot out from the crowd as Midna stood up.

"Yeah, so, like, what am I supposed to do?" Midna rambled.

Master Hand took in a deep breath. "Just, state your name, game series, and why you think you deserve to be in Super Smash Brothers."

"What if I was forced here against my will?"

"Just. Do. It."

"Yeesh, SOMEBODY'S in a bad mood today. Whatevers. Anyhoo...wow, tough crowd. Um-"

"GET ON WITH IT!"Master Hand and the rest of the conventioners shouted. Midna rolled her eyes.

"Make that ten somebody's. Fine, fine, I'm Midna, bla bla bla, Legend of Zelda, I'm the Twilight Princess so there," she spoke swiftly, taking her seat once again.

"Um...yo...could you repeat that?" Funky Kong implied.

"Wow, apparently the dumb ape couldn't here it the first time. Midna. Legend of Zelda. Twilight Princess. THERE." Midna repeated in a more robotic tone. Most people in the group were sort of left speechless.

"...do we get cake if we stand up and say why we should be in the game?" Shadow questioned. Eevee perked up at the mention of cake.

"The cake is a lie," Jeff snorted, referencing a PC game called Portal.

"Pah, these guns here need no cake," Waluigi flirted to Daisy, attempting to show any slight sort of muscle inside his arms.

"There IS no cake!" Master Hand roared. "Now hurry up! Next person! I don't have all day you know!"

"What if I have a question for Miss Midna here?" Lyn asked Master Hand. Everyone in the group facepalmed as Midna groaned.

"So, um, does that rock thing on your head weigh a lot?"

"A, what kind of question does that have to relate to me being in the series? B, it's a Fused Shadow you dimwit! And don't you dare mock it; even though it gets a bit annoying, it helped us a lot in the twilight adventure."

Midna humphed, adjusted her 'Fused Shadow', and crossed her arms. "Oh, and I really SHOULD be in the game series. I, as opposed to such filth, pose true beauty; just check my inbox which by the way SWOONS with fanmail...a bunch of them being love letters from a certain fanatic. Besides, I AM a Twilight Princess, after all."

"...uh, you already said that dude," Funky Kong mentioned.

"Your point? Ug, this is so intolerable. Brawling isn't even my style anyways." Midna yawned as she took her seat again.

Master Hand was perplexed. "Well, if you weren't concerned about not being included, why'd you even come?"

"The flier said there was free buffet." She motioned to Eevee crawling back to the group with armloads of crackers and pastries, slightly disappointed about the lack of cake.

"Tch. Somebody's a pig," Shadow whispered.

Daisy shrugged. "Looks more like a rabid squirrel in my opinion."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix Wright shouted. "He's a Pokemon."

Krystal rubbed her temples. "Must you shout that with every sentence you say?"

"OBJ-it catches on when you use it all the time."

The host of the convention groaned and glanced at the ancient analog clock on the other side of the gym. Time was ticking.

"ALL RIGHT! Any voluteers to go second? Please?" A hand shot up.

"Allow me to present to you my demonstration," Jeff proclaimed. The others in the group moaned as Jeff pulled out a 20th century slide projector and plugged it into the wall outlet. Waluigi was about to make another nerd comment until Daisy delivered him a blow that knocked the wind out of him.

"Sweet Mother-"

"Yes, Mother, more precisely Earthbound is the game I come from, along with characters such as Lucas and Ness. Jeff Andonuts is my name. I am a junior engineer scientific disovering expeditionary scholar in the field of rocket technology. I study this practice at Snow Wood Boarding School, an early academy with high credits for prodigys such as myself, which is one of the exact reasons I should portake in the Super Smash Brothers game series. As previously stated, I specialize in the repairs and formations of guns, rockets, and other heavy-duty weaponry. My intellectual intelligence deserves more than just a young boy at home finding new battlefield in firearm stability. Other than that, I am proud to be a so-called 'nerd' in the eyes of other uncivilized misfits, and my greatest aspect to fighting would be my mind. I dream to accomplish future goals other than simply adventuring in Earthbound, so allow me to join the game, or I shall create an **_EXPLOSION!_** to knock you out, heh heh heh."Jeff adjusted his glasses and sat back down again.

"..."

"..."

"...he SAID he didn't mind being called a nerd..."

Jeff beamed as everyone in the group stared at the child with dropped jaws. He hit the projector and began preseting childhood models to the group...that is, until Master Hand 'accidentally' unplugged the antique machine from the wall outlet. Unfortunately for him, the wiring Jeff had created with the ancient projector was so perfect that when Master Hand yanked it out, it slid out of place and hit against a wire inside the wall, thus creating an instant zap of electricity which literally shocked the host. If that makes sense. Eh, nothing Jeff says or does makes sense in the first place.

As a 'shocked' Master Hand picked himself bit by bit off the floor, Lyn raised her hand again. "Um, excuse me-"

"Oh, brother-"

"No, MOTHER," Jeff replied.

"...why are we here again? I'm used to being fighting for the kingdom I grew up in, and I got some mysterious letter asking if I wanted to represent Fire Emblem by coming to this 'convention', which is really starting to turn out to be a sympathy clinic." Master Hand was ready to respond-

"Huh, that's exactly the same kind of thing I got!" Waluigi proclaimed. "Of course, being the classy guy I always am..." A certain floral princess gagged as Waluigi turned her direction...again.

"HOLD IT! How come I never got any letter?" Phoenix Wright protested. Master Hand was right about to respond that nobody in Nintendo really knew much about Capcom and answer Lyn's question-

Funky Kong scratched his chin. "OOH OOH OOH I KNOW! He was being eco-friendly by saving paper!" Everybody in the group facepalmed, even the electrocuted and still constantly interrupted Master Hand.

"But seriously. I mean, I came all the way out from Hyrule for this garbage dump of a meeting."

"Amen. Here, have a sympathy cookie," Krystal agreed, chucking an oatmeal raisin in the fighteress's (that's not a word, is it) direction. Eevee grabbed yet another mountain-full as Shadow snatched one from the pile.

"Tch, fine," he whispered. Master Hand, once again, resumed to explain-

"SYMPATHY COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!" Daisy cheered, joining Krystal in the action.

"Hey, wasn't _I_ the one handing them out?"

"Well jeez, sorry you have protective issues-"

"What did you just say to me?"

"What are you now, a deaf cat? If only you were mute."

"THAT'S IT!" Krystal growled as she charged at Daisy from her seat. Just as she was about to make contact, Daisy dodged and kicked her in the shoulder. The two tomboys fell to the floor and began beating the pulp out of each other through the process of hair pulling, sleeve ripping, elbow knocking, and heel kicking, perfectly displaying why they deserved to be smashers. Funky Kong pulled out an eco-friendly camera and began snapping pictures right and left as Eevee cowered in the corner.

"QUIET DOWN YOU TWO!" Master Hand warned, summoning his personal electricity to stun the girls and force them back into their seats. Shadow had the burden of sitting in between the two, but being in the emo mood he was today he didn't mind.

"Now, the reason you all are here is because the Smash Brothers series is curious in introducing new players for a POSSIBLE Super Smash Brothers Quarrell-"

"Who in their righteous mind names a fighting game 'quarrell'?" Midna questioned questionably.

"Their name is a work in progress, okay chatterbox?" Master Hand hissed as the Twilight Princess shrugged and sunk back in her chair. "And as I was saying, they wanted you guys to come here to vent your feelings about being excluded, bla bla bla, possible recognition for appearing in next game-"

"REALLY?" "BOOYAH!" "WOOT WOOT!"

"...which likely won't happen since they have reservations with several for fill in spots already." The positive mood quickly diminished.

"Well, I don't know about you, but the reason I came was because my invitation said there was cake." Funky mentioned.

"Preposterous! I must have skipped that little tidbit when I reviewed my invite; perhaps I was too busy slaving away at my newest designs?" Jeff wondered.

"Hmmph. Cake couldn't suffice the pain you people have," Shadow moaned as he resumed his unhappy stance.

Master Hand was dumbfounded. "Well, as you can see, there IS no cake here, just cookies and lemonade. I do not ever recall saying 'cake'-"

"TAKE THAT!" Phoenix exclaimed, tossing his invitation to the host. He crumpled the piece of paper in half as the group continued petitioning for their beloved cake. The clock continued to tick as Master Hand excused himself from the room to call the Smash company that he'd be late getting out of the convention of the cake-driven village idiots. He then shuffled his way to the kitchen, returning to the gym with a platter. He angrily plopped down a cheesecake which Eevee immediately carved into.

Suddenly, Eevee clutched his throat in agony. He gasped for breath as Lyn jumped out of her seat to perform CPR. Silence flooded the group for several minutes before Eevee coughed up a wet chunk of cake and spat it out right in Waluigi's face.

"...the cake is a lie."

"Now, you people have caused me to be late to my final match. OVER STUPID CAKE! Now, let's continue this stupid meeting and end it ONCE AND FOR ALL! KRYSTAL! UP!"

The Star Fox squad member, appalled by the cake issues, stood up from her chair and proceeded to clear her throat as Daisy scoffed and leaned back. "Now then. Hello there, I'm Krystal-"

"Really? Because I definitely don't see the shine," Daisy insulted.

"Hm, perhaps I'm reflecting you?" Funky Kong and Phoenix Wright sprung into action to prevent Daisy from setting off a possible assassination.

"Now then. Where was I?" Krystal teased as Jeff re-readjusted his glasses.

"You were stating your name, but were interrupted before you could propose a surname, occupation, and gaming series in which you are famous for partaking in."

"...uh, yeah..." Krystal sighed, rubbing her arm nervously. "My name's Krystal, and I'm from the Star Fox series...and well...er...I...don't really have a last name, as...um...my home planet, Cerinia, was destroyed...and my parents...I'm...I was the only survivor."

Daisy was suddenly taken aback by the shocking reveal. Krystal brushed back her hair as Lyn, Midna, and Daisy suddenly rushed to the feline's side, trying their best to comfort her. Waluigi ran up to comfort Daisy, but Daisy pummelled him back into his seat.

"Meh, it's fine. I joined the Star Fox team, so things are meh whatever UGH GET OFF OF ME!" The three comforting girls nearly dived back to their seats as Krystal prepared to take her gun out.

"SHE'S GOT A GUN!" Funky Kong yelled at the top of his lungs. Soon security busted down the doors and nearly tackled Krystal had she not put up a force field. Master Hand groaned, asked Krystal for the gun, and pushed security back out.

"Well, go on. I've already missed a final match, don't make me miss my date!"

"...how do you date a hand?" Shadow pondered silently.

Krystal twirled her thumbs together and continued. "Anyways, I'd be a great aspect to the series for several reasons. Star Fox ought to be the series with the leading amount of characters in it, well, in my opinion. Only Fox, Falco, and Wolf currently participate. Tch, more importantly I guess is that Star Fox needs a female fighter to represent them. I've got the skill, I've got the ammo, and I've got the cute looks, you know?" All the men swooned over her at these words. "Uh...yeah. Anyways, there are only five females out there: Peach, Zelda, Samus, Jigglypuff, and Nana. We need more girls, do you hear me? And I'm not just one to back down from something like this! I will fight this because I have what it take...TO fight."

"WOOOOOO!" the three other girls cheered as the guys continued drooling on the floor. As Krystal overexaggerated her 'thank-yous', Master Hand called in for a janitor to mop up everybody's little tidal pool.

"As...somehow deep that was..." Master Hand remarked. Thankfully he was in possession of Krystal's gun at that moment. "...uh, Shadow, you're up!"

"..."

"...Shadow?"

"...tch, fine."

Master Hand (Confessional): Shadow the Hedgehog always seems to appear stubborn and silent, and just in a bad mood. He's gonna have to prove himself if he wants to do well in this convention. Although, his rabid fangirls could help him make the cut for the next game. Wait, this isn't Survivor? Why the heck am I talking to a camera? *zaps*

"...well, care to begin?" Master Hand pleaded as Shadow the Hedgehog continued glaring in his emo corner.

"Shadow. Shadow the Hedgehog. From...stupid Sonic series. Deserves pride. Next."

The circle of possible future fighters was left speechless, although nobody knew if it was the fact that Shadow was obviously angered, there wasn't much to say after his statement, or the fact that was the longest he'd spoken so far today. Oh wait, no it wasn't.

"Oh, seriously?" Waluigi groaned as Lyn once again stated she had a question for Shadow. Although I bet he wasn't as annoyed AS Shadow, who now had to talk again.

"Um...is there something wrong, Shadow? Because it seems like a part of you is upset over something that might be personal...it's better not to keep things like that bottled up-"

Suddenly, it clicked to Shadow. As Lyn slowly moved towards him, the hedgehog's mind began to play games with his eyes. Lyn began to appear like a Pokemon evolving...evolving...

Lyn evolved to Maria in Shadow's eyes.

"M-M-!" Shadow wailed as he darted towards the Fire Emblem fighter. He began hugging her and bursting into incredible tears.

"...there, there?"

Shadow instantly grabbed her by the hand and darted out of the gymnasium at near Sonic speed. Lyn screamed as they flew through hills and valleys and mountains and rivers in Shadow's attempt to return to his home planet...which he didn't really have. Aw snap-

* * *

"Ug, where the heck is Master Hand?" Samus hissed as Crazy Hand continued to look at the invisible watch on his wrist. Master Hand's alternate then resumed to have spastic seisures as Samus sighed.

"Will you please just STOP THAT ALREADY?" she pleaded. She finally gave up and threw her gun at the hand to stop him. Of course, that was the exact moment Shadow and Lyn came zooming by, which triggered a laser which sent them both back to the convention center with newfound headaches.

"...uh, what just happened?"

* * *

Lyn refurbished herself as Shadow sunk back solemnly. That experience taught her not to ask questions ever again. Ever.

"All right, next up is...Eevee?"

Eevee finished gobbling down his twenty-seventh parfait and sprung out of his chair. He trotted towards the center of the room as Krystal almost began to fall over asleep. The evolution Pokemon clapped his hands twice and cued a random light from above.

He danced around the chairs with a surprising glee to him as he jumped up and landed on his tippy toes. He then pointed to himself and fanned his tail. He skipped, hopped, and performed a front flip. After winking to Lyn (who literally fell out of her seat at the cuteness), he proceeded to mime like he was punching a sandbag, with random ninja hits and kicks and geronimo front busts. He began to act like Mario, Link, Kirby, and most importantly Pikachu as professional fighters. Eevee saluted, then began to do what he did best: evolve. Flashy lights grew all around him as he suddenly began turning into Vaporeon, Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon, Umbreon, Leafeon, and Glaceon. When he returned back to normal, he did three backflips, twirled around on the ground, and struck a pose.

With that he returned to his seat to nom another donut.

Jaws dropped.

"...run that by again: a number four, extra cheese, no pickles or mayo, with onion rings and the flashy toy?"

Everybody in the group facepalmed as Funky Kong tried to translate Eevee's performance. Even Shadow, who was still hallucinating after his traumatic 'sprint'.

"...actually, the standard body performances indicate that Eevee was trying to communicate that he has ambidextrious fighting skills he wishes to acquire by logging on with the Smash Brothers Company. His evolution perplexes my brain particles," Jeff proclaimed.

"...nerd-OWCHIES!" Waluigi spattered. You can guess what just happened.

"Gee, those are quite the 'muscles'," Daisy mocked.

Master Hand cracked his knuckles (which was quite deafening considering his size) and uncurled himself from his chair. "Considering that this is only the halfway point in our little 'get-together', and I'm already WAY beyond late, I suppose it might be a good time to-"

"Get a latte?" Midna pressured.

"Take a nap..." muttered Shadow.

"Recite the Chinese alphabet?" piped Jeff.

"Cross-examine the witness?" Phoenix hoped.

"DO THE CARAMELLDANSEN?" Daisy cheered. At that very moment, Lyn, Midna, Krystal, and herself jumped up and began clapping their hands, swinging their hips, and a bunch of other craziness known to the world as caramelldansen. All the guys held up a ten pallet for their performance. Waluigi gave Daisy an infinity symbol with a heart. Daisy snapped her fingers and caused the heart to break in half.

"...try and impress a hot chick?" Waluigi begged.

"NO! IT'S TO HAVE A WELL-EARNED INTERMISSION-"

"HOORAY!"

"...BUT SINCE YOU'RE SO IGNORANT, YOU CAN JUST COUNT THOSE 'FESTIVITIES' AS IT!"

"...puh."

"HOLD IT!" the Ace Attorney exclaimed, hopping up from his seat. "The defendents here deserve a proper recess. We're being testified against the rights of the high courts; after all, you did blatantly admit you FORCED US HERE. Thus, when an intermission was required..." (he bangs his hand on his chair) "IT SHOULD STILL BE IN ORDER!"

Lyn gasped and did a Winston Payne hair flip.

"Looking back at the court record, a very, very small detail in the convention invitation contradicts that very statement. Read the second line please. As you can see, right here it says-"

"JUST TAKE A FREAKIN' RECESS ALREADY!" Master Hand groaned as ten anxious people blinked solemnly before dashing out of the gym doors.

The Fire Emblen fighteress stopped the lawyer on his way out. "Phoenix...that was really amazing what you just did. Standing up to that big, mean hand like that...I only wish I had half the bravery and knowledge as you do." An offended Jeff scuffled his way past them.

"Heh heh heh," Phoenix grinned awkwardly. "It's just what I normally do-"

"Do you like baby kittens?"

"Hey! You with the face!" Daisy called out. Krystal groaned and prepared to whip out the usual 'face' comebacks.

"You rang, pansy?"

"I just wanted-you know, I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that," she trailed begrudgingly. "Anyhoo, I just wanted to apologize for treating you like trash a while ago. I didn't quite understand the family background you come from and-"

"Oh PRIIIIIIIINCEEEEEEEEEESS! Come over and sit with me for a minute, won't you?" Waluigi offered, in an epic fail attempt at being seductive. Daisy excused herself one moment to 'talk' with Waluigi. Smoke clouds appeared as grunts and bangs appeared in cartoon style pop-outs. Daisy strolled out, struck a girl power pose, and highfived Krystal. Waluigi strolled out with a black eye and ripped sleeve.

"If you want to impress a girl...well, for you, just don't," Funky Kong advised.

As Jeff began to install a filter to a drinking fountain that Eevee kept trying to break, Midna scooted over to where Shadow was secretly meditating like Espio. "So, word on the street is, you're supposedly 'shadow' style. And I'm 'twilight'. So, that makes us like...TWO PEAS IN A POD!" Insert insane laughter from Midna. Shadow didn't even move a centimeter as Midna regained composure and muttered 'whatever' under her breath.

"**TWEET! TWEET! REPORT BACK TO THE DANG GYM! NOW!**"

The ten innocents caused a Sonic Boom as they reentered that dang gym. Master Hand was seen breathing into a brown paper sack.

"...that had better not be my lunch in there," Funky noted.

"We're running low on time here. Daisy. Go."

"Yeesh. Okay then...HI I'M DAISY!"

Shadow awoke from his meditation, covering his ears in dispair. Daisy was surprised to see half the group on the floor attempting to recover from the blast. Master Hand began to go into a hacking spree as the princess of Sarasa Land turned bright red.

"WELL JEEZ, HOW THE *cough* WAS THAT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING *cough* CLOSE TO *cough* DEAFNESS? HUH? YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF *cough* PEOPLE WHO ARE SO *cough* TO KNOW WHEN IT'S *cough* GOOD TO BE COURTEOUS!"

The overhead sprinkler system went off and poured down on the entire gymnasium, drenching the literally smoking princess.

"Dang girl...you're on fire-"

"Just shut up, you imbecile."

Master Hand was about to need a good soaking. "Just *cough* go."

"Yeesh part two. Anyways, I'm...yeah. I'm here on behalf of the Mario series-"

"WARIO IS BETTER!" Waluigi hollered. Funky facepalmed as Waluigi failed to impress. Again.

"As I was saying, I'm from the Mario series, a.k.a., Nintendo's most renowned series. Thank you, thank you very much." Some glares were received by Midna of Zelda. "I believe that I deserve to be in the Smash Series is because I'm the kind of girl who gets kicks out of beating the pulp out of people. Peach is representing female Mario...shall I say, poorly. Sorry, but I refuse to let people allow a COSTUME VERSION OF ME to play and not actually me. If you let me be in your...'quarrell', you can be 100% certain that everyone who dares to face me will walk out with some sort of broken limb, YOU HEAR ME? Tomboys rule, damsels drool."

Krystal gulped. Eevee stared at the princess with his beady eyes as tears began to form. Lyn gasped and ran over to comfort the Pokemon. What? He's cute.

Master Hand twiddled his thumb. "...Funky Kong?"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAH HA HAAAAAOW!"

"...to be politically correct, a meager 'hip hop cheerio' would get the meaning across precisely." Jeff answered. Waluigi nearly spoke up again but soon remembered his black eye. Techincally, it was getting to be more of a greenish violet.

Funky Kong proceeded to perform vocal exercises to warm up his articulation. To everybody else, it sounded more like he was communicating with his fellow species. Lyn bit her lip anxiously as she protected Eevee from whatever chaos Funky was about to perform.

"...hit it."

As Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' began to play accordingly on the piano, Shadow began to have dreams of Maria again. Lyn sweatdropped as Shadow turned to face her with his salivating mouth. Everyone sprung into action to calm Shadow back down again as Funky prepared his speech...that everybody was to focused upon Shadow the Hedgehog to pay attention to.

"_At first I was upset, I was horrified!_

_Kept thinking I could never live without that brawling life!_

_But then I spent so many nights thinking how I'd get it on._

_I grew strong...and I learned how I'd make my song..._

_And so I'm here! From KONGO BONGO! I just walked in to find myself here witha sad look upon my face!_

_I should have applied for a longer game, I should have gone and claimed my fame, _

_If I had known for just one second, I had the chance for SSB!_

_Oh I know..._" *record scratch*

Master Hand stopped the DJ pad in motion as the rest of the group reseated themselves after Shadow had apparently gone off with Daisy instead.

"Aw, just when it was getting to the chorus too..."

Jeff raised a hand very slowly. "If it helps your predicament at all, I remember the time back in the elaborate days of youth when I was concentrating on desigining an intergalactic rocket-"

"JUST SHUT UP WITH THE GEEK TALK ALREADY!" The Earthbound boy adjusted his glasses and began to wish that his 'mother' was there.

"Only three more it seems," Master Hand stated reassuringly to himself.

"Yes, time has NOT gone quickly enough," Midna grumbled, yawning profusely as she pulled out a cell phone and began texting Krystal from across the room.

The host stopped talking for a while. He'd just about reached the top of the annoyance meter. "Well? Phoenix Wright? Care to go? Please? Don't make me beg? Why am I asking in questions? Am I going crazy? Am I like my brother? Is the author running out of text ideas? Huh? Am I high? Did I have caffeine? I don't remember any caffeine? Does-" Master Hand was smacked over the head by Waluigi, who beamed proudly.

"Why, hello there Daisy. I haven't quite introduced you to my muscles yet now have I?" Daisy ran to snatch the lunch bag Master Hand used to be coughing in.

"The defense is ready your honor," Phoenix Wright opened. Lyn swooned romantically, nearing suffocating Eevee with her tighter cuddles as Master Hand floated back into consciousness.

"Pretty birdies-"

Jeff scrambled to open his bird encyclopedia. "By the looks of it, these creatures appear to be Green Naped Lorikeets. You can tell by the incredible colors...whoa..."

Everyone in the group gathered around the loopy Master Hand as they watched the exotic birds encircle him in the air. They flew with such elegance and passion that the future brawlers couldn't break away. They became entwined with the birds as they tweeted their glorious songs of grace and beauty. Lights began to emit from thin air as harps and trumpets began proclaiming their solemn songs of divine talent. A teardrop went down Lyn's cheek as she squeezed Eevee even tighter. She flung herself into Phoenix's arms. Normally, he would shout 'OBJECTION!' but he simply couldn't. He didn't have it the worst off though; Daisy, Krystal, Midna, and Funky Kong were using Shadow the Hedgehog as a virtual tissue.

Waluigi squinted at the bright lights and turned to face the others. Suddenly, cupids began to rise into the air as Daisy whooshed her hair around and batted her eyelashes.

"Waluigi..." she whispered. Waluigi gulped.

"Oh, Waluigi..."

"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU LOVED ME WAY DEEP DOWN INSIDE DAISY!"

"**_WALUIGI! GET A FREAKIN' LIFE ALREADY! IT'S STILL YOUR TURN FOR THE VENTING WHATEVER!_**"

The daydream ended. Waluigi blinked to see Daisy ready to deliver a blow to his only good eye as Midna dumped a bucket of water over Master Hand.

"Gyagh! C-C-C-COLD!"

Luigi's alternate turned a shade of pink as he scooted his way out of Daisy's physical reach. "Heh heh...the name's Waluigi, cuz, you know, when you compare me to that loser Luigi you just go like 'WAAAA?' cuz I'm totes cooler." Several snickers could be heard throughout the gymnasium.

"ANYWAYS...I'm representing Wario Ware Inc...even though you have yet to wait and see when the Waluigi series will overtake all! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone was laughing now, almost to the point of a guffaw.

"Well then. I deserve to be in the Smash Brothers series for several reasons. I'm the sneakiest villain there ever has been, I've got some daredevil tricks up my sleeve, and I've got the guns to knock any person all the way to the Milky Way. BOOM! BOOM! FIYAH POWAH!" The entire group gaped as Waluigi ripped off his shirt to reveal actual muscle. Suddenly, Eevee swiped his paw at his 'arm', which instantly deflated along with the rest of his muscles. This action caused his pants to fly off as well to reveal pink polka dot underwear.

If you weren't on the floor literally dying of laughter, you weren't human. Two ambulances soon showed up to try and cure everyone from their cases of spastic shock.

Waluigi would not have the last laugh. He sulked back over to his seat.

After tripping over a random ladybug apparently named Ella.

Master Hand soon recovered after having his blood pressure taken along with a shot also used to euthanize animals. (Lyn guarded Eevee protectively at the sound of this) "Ho ho ho!"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Even Shadow facepalmed at Funky's outburst.

Krystal pulled out her gun to force everyone to stop their chortling and listen to the host. "Gee, maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all...it's like...BRIEF COMEDY! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Cricket cricket.

"...don't you get it? With the 'muscles' and then...it's...ah, never mind. PHOENIX! ARE YOU READY?"

The Ace Attorney leapt out of his chair and pounded his fist on the table. "The defense is ready your honor...er, sure?" Lyn fainted romantically as Midna merely rolled her eyes and texted 'wat a drk' to Krystal, who smacked Jeff upside the head for spying on their texting conversation.

"...ahem. Allow me to begin with the details-"

"OBJECTION! Isn't it the prosecution's job to start off the testimony?" Daisy asked questionably.

"We don't HAVE a prosecution for this now do we. TAKE THAT!" Phoenix proclaimed as Daisy sunk back into her seat. "As I was saying-"

"HOLD IT! If this isn't an actual case, why did you start out with the defense is ready?" Midna proposed diabolically.

"It's a natural force of habit. I'm defending my statement about joining SSB. TAKE THAT!"

"Yeesh, no need to shout it..." Midna mumbled as Lyn swatted her upside the head.

"Still as I see it," Jeff began, "there is no official judge here in this auditorium matrex. To be blunt, wouldn't you be contradicting yourself to say that you were defending a statement when there's nobody to be the judge of that statement? GOTCHA!"

"For heaven's sakes, can't a lawyer just SAY SOMETHING without everybody getting on his case about it?"

"I thought this WASN'T a case..." muttered Shadow.

Steam flew out from the attorney's ears. "My name's Phoenix Wright and I'm a defense attorney from the California area. I'm best known for being the rookie to take the stands to make sure that justice is served. If you allow me to be in your god-forsaken Smash Brothers game you can be certain that-"

"Wait-"

"SHYUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

"..."

"If you let me join, you can be certain that the justice of the game WILL be served as I pummell the criminals of the group and come out victorious on the top. Plus Edgeworth bet me fifty bucks if I managed to join."

Nobody moved an inch as Phoenix Wright announced that his 'trial' was 'adjourned'. The group glanced at the clock. They'd officially been in this sanctum for over an hour now.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"Got any sixes?" Samus groaned as she nudged her cannon towards a deck of cards. Crazy Hand fell to the ground and continued to vibrate like a cell phone.

"For goodness sake," she snapped, raising her zero beam laser to launch directly at the hand. Crazy Hand was sent pummelling into the air, resulting in a random loss of sudden stock.

"SAMUS IS THE WINNER!" a booming announcer's voice rang out.

"No dip sherlock. I've waited an hour for Master Hand to come-"

"Oh wait, Master Hand hasn't been defeated yet...SAMUS HAS NOT YET WON!"

The Metroid fighter fainted anime style.

* * *

"Now, last-"

"BUT NOT LEAST!" Lyn enunciated. Eevee fell to the ground feebishly at the noise as Phoenix prevented Shadow from trying to steal Lyn again.

"...well, definitely the least to be last in a vocal competition..."

"Hi, my name is Lyn, shortened for Lyndis, deriving from the Japanese リンディス, or Ryndis, shortened as リン, or Ryn-"

"WILL YOU JUST GO ALREADY?" ten very exhausted people declared angrily.

"Well jeez, when you make it sound like that...anyhoo, I'm a fighteress from the Fire Emblem series, being one of the first female protagonists in the series. I fought my way to avenge my parent's death by bandits-"

"WHAT? YOU TOO! NOOOOOOOOO!" Funky sobbed as he glomped both Lyn and Krystal in sorrow. After another trip to the ambulance, it was determined he had 'issues'.

Lyn regained composure as Krystal's gun was tackled by Daisy to prevent further injury. (And this is coming from the person who isn't afraid to give Waluigi a black eye) "It's fine, really. I have great fighting skills, especially for a female. Accept me into your game, and females will RULE THE WORLD!...jk. Lol."

At that very moment, disco lights lit up the entire room as Daisy, Krystal, Midna, and Lyn all grabbed microphones.

Krystal: _You know that everything's gonna be o-kaaaaaaaaaaaaay!_

Lyn: _When us girls come and save the daaaaaaaaaaaaay!_

Midna: _We're all you ever want._

Daisy: _We're all you ever NEEEEEEEEEED!_

All: When you join us girls, it's VICTORY!

[INSERT INSANE APPLAUSE]

Phoenix Wright snickered. "Hey Waluigi, why aren't you singing in the girl song?" Waluigi's mustache twitched.

"Simple," Jeff grinned. "His brain has formulated that it is unwise to mess with estrogen again."

"No way Einstein I had no idea! Joke spoiler."

"So then. Any questions?" Lyn asked innocently. Big. Mistake.

"What was with all the earlier questions?" Daisy asked.

"Why do you have green hair?" Jeff asked.

"Whose yo daddy?" Waluigi asked. Everybody paused for a minute to assault Waluigi.

"Do you have an insane love for animals?" Funky Kong asked.

"..." Eevee asked.

"Are you in love with Phoenix?" Midna asked.

"Can I OBJECT to that?" Phoenix asked.

"...is your middle name 'Maria'?" Shadow asked.

"Why do you have a sword and not a gun?" Krystal asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Lyn exclaimed as she fell to the ground in agony. Pretty birdies began to fly around her head...uh oh-

"These seem to be Baikal Teals," Jeff informed.

"For crying out loud," the fighteress groaned as she got back to her feet. "What's with all the randomly insane questions? Huh? I want answers!" She suddenly hired Phoenix Wright to be her lawyer.

"OBJECTION-"

Daisy tried to act innocent. "Well, you asked a lot of questions at the beginning..."

"Four."

"Fair enough."

Lyn scoffed, fired Phoenix, and took her seat once again. Midna bit her lip as she waited to find out what was going to happen next.

They waited...

And waited...

And twiddled their thumbs...

And looked at Master Hand...

And ate some more cake...

And performed CPR again since the cake was a lie...

And waited...

And sighed...

And did the hokey pokey...

And gave up.

"Well? What are we supposed to do now?" Krystal pointed out the obvious.

Master Hand looked at his watch and snapped his fingers. "Well, what do you know. I survived this nightmare. And it's finally over! YEAH BABY!"

Midna pulled out her cell phone camera to take snapshots of Master Hand acting like Crazy Hand. Jeff prepared to download them to Youtube.

"But seriously, now what?" Shadow spat.

"Now's supposedly the time where I'm to evaluate each of you and decide whether or not you have what it takes to fight. So, good luck with the mutated Chain Chomp Goblins!" Master Hand snickered. He unfolded his chair, revealed a lever, and yanked it down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" all ten screamed as the floor beneath them vanished as they fell into a dark black pit.

"Heh heh heh...meh, if they die, nobody's gonna miss them too badly. They're games weren't the most popular," Master Hand commented. "Oh, looky here, I'd best be on my way. Don't want to make Samus any madder than she already is."

And with that, Master Hand left the scene. The lights flickered for a few seconds before going off completely.

* * *

"Doo bee doo bee doo," Samus groaned as she continued pacing about the Final Destination stage. Master Hand soon came zooming in on the horizon. He collapsed onto the stage and tumbled over his sibling's fallen body.

"Sorry I'm late!"

"You should be," Samus hissed as she charged at the monstrous hand. She smacked, kicked, punched, shot, and brutally murdered Master Hand.

"ZERO BEAM LASER!"

A flicker of light brightened as Master Hand disappeared into the galaxies for all eternity.

* * *

Ten chairs were neatly arranged in a circle in the very same gymnasium a few days later. Ten impatient people sat twiddling their thumbs waiting to find out why they were there.

"Excuse me?" one person called out. "You there, with the fingers!"

Crazy Hand quit salivating to turn to the group.

"What ARE we doing here, per se?" Crazy Hand might have been a spastic nervous wreck, but he was smart enough to point to the invitation in the person's hands.

It read:

CONVENTION FOR WANNABE SMASH HOSTS; COME ONE AND COME ALL IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO HOST THE NEXT SUPER SMASH BROTHERS GAME!

* * *

**Geez, I've had this idea for quite a while now and finally I've managed to put it in paper. I'm pretty sure a bunch of you are scratching your heads after reading this and searching your phone books for psychopath help hotlines. :P I just had the idea to put ten worthy players of being in a possible third Smash Brothers game and see what randomness could ensue. Hope you got a laugh out of that! Leave a review please!**


End file.
